It is a brand New Year! Hopefully it will be filled with fun adventures and terrific goals. For me, I tossed ideas around about what I wanted to do for some meaningful goals that would help me grow a bit more. I thought about the usual; praying more, studying the scriptures more, etc. Which are all worthy goals to have. But something occurred to me as I was on Facebook and reading a post. This person who wrote the post was someone who I had compared myself to throughout high school and very jealous of and I had labeled this person as one of the "popular" kids. I'm not proud to say that old sentiments die hard. Everything thought and feeling from years came so clearly to me. I still wanted to categorize and tell myself that "they are so perfect still". Which is not the case. Lately I have been very sentimental and looking through Facebook to see people that I grew up with are doing with their lives. And some of the old labels come to my mind when I see their profiles. I guess high school sticks with us a lot more closely than we want to admit. Especially me. A lot of people would say that they would give anything to go back. I'm excluded from that sentiment. I wanted out before I even got there. I wanted to do things that I got cut out from doing. I delved into books and thankfully had two best friends and my youngest sister.
I wasn't bullied. But being ignored or getting weird looks for saying something that has depth is just as hurtful and lonely. And being tossed aside from doing the things you want to do. Those hurts still sting. And being on the taller and "fluffier" side of the body spectrum was always a challenge for me. Especially when the prettier girls got asked out on dates every weekend and I was at home with my plethora of books.
Thankfully, high school does not last forever. And despite my challenges, I do have fond memories of those times as well. And people grow and change. It reminds of a quote from one of my favorite shows:
"We all change when you think about it. We're all different people all through our lives and that's okay. That's good. You've gotta keep moving so long as you remember all the people that you used to be."
Which is AMAZING. We all have the ability to change. To become our better selves. In light of it being a new year with a fresh start, my resolution is to let go of past feelings and judgments. So to anyone who I have grown up with, my high school class of 2010, I would love to get to know you....again as different people who have grown.
(PM me on Facebook)
